Uncommon Sense
by Shiori Hitohana
Summary: Koenma’s created a quiz to find the next Reikai Tantei! ...Better test it on the best team of Reikai Tantei he ever had first…. No pairings.


A/N: Well, I guess I'll consider this my update for July 4th, even though it has nothing to do with it. While this story only involves characters from Yu Yu Hakusho, it mentions the plots of many other animes in the "quiz." If you can't recognize the anime from the question, a complete list is at the end of the story. Oh! And even though I'm kind of mocking them, I really like all the animes mentioned.

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the animes mentioned.

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**Uncommon Sense**

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Koenma looked at his ex-Reikai Tantei with pleading eyes. "It's just one itty-bitty little quiz! And it's for the sake of the world!"

Hiei scoffed. "I don't work for you anymore, Koenma. You released me from parole, remember? And even if I did, I'd still refuse to do this ridiculous assignment."

Kurama hid a smile. "Koenma-sama, just why is it so important that _we_ take this quiz? It's just for the next Reikai Tantei, after all."

Yusuke nodded. "Yeah, toddler. Listen to Kurama."

Kuwabara shrugged. "I don't care one way or another, so I suppose I'm willing to take the quiz."

"Thank you Kuwabara. Come on, guys! It won't be hard at all! Just five minutes of your time! You're wasting more by arguing with me!"

Kurama frowned. "I suppose that's true. I assume you've told Botan not to ferry us back until we agree?"

Koenma nodded, hoping that he wouldn't find Hiei's katana at his neck for this coercion.

Hiei growled, but did not unsheathe his katana. Koenma sighed in relief.

"All right, Toddler," Yusuke muttered. "I'll take the stupid quiz." Kurama nodded as well.

"Thank you, Yusuke, Kurama! Now, Hiei, you can stay in Reikai forever if you want, but it would be so much easier to just agree…" Koenma stated.

Hiei frowned. "Fine, Koenma."

Koenma smiled, pushing a piece of paper towards each of them along with a pen before leaving them.

_Question 1_: If you were attacked by a strange extra-terrestrial creature/monster/fluffy thing, what would you do?

A. Hug it

B. Fight and defeat it

C. Join it in a world domination plot

D. Run away screaming

Kuwabara looked thoughtful. "Well, it depends on what it is…if it's a cat, I'd choose A….but probably the answer is B…."

Yusuke gave him a strange glance. "Of course the answer's B, baka. Right, Kurama?"

Kurama smiled and nodded, then glanced over at Hiei's paper. "Unless you're Hiei, in which case the answer is C."

Yusuke laughed. "Alright, then. Next one…"

_Question 2_: If you and your girlfriend had been reincarnated multiple times, and you would get sick if you were near one another because of a curse, what would you do?

A. Stay by her side no matter what

B. Turn into a crow, then follow her around

C. Abandon her to save both of you

D. Abandon her to her fate to save yourself

E. Back away from the computer and stop taking this quiz

"A good man would always choose A!" Kuwabara shouted.

Yusuke laughed, stating, "But then you'll both die. But what's with choice B?"

Kurama looked pensive. "There aren't any choices here that will turn out well except for perhaps C…."

Hiei scoffed. "Emotions will only hurt you in a fight. D is the correct choice."

Kurama smiled. "It has the same effect as C in the end, I suppose…"

_Question 3_: If you had accidentally scattered a bunch of magical cards, and they would wreck havoc on the world if you didn't gather them again, what would you do?

A. Return a few, then stop

B. Gather the cards and save the world

C. Leave it to someone else

D. Replace them with some non-magical cards and then play solitaire

Kuwabara frowned. "B, of course. Why would you do any of the others?"

Yusuke shrugged. "How many cards are there, though? It would get boring after a while. Maybe A is the answer…"

Kurama chuckled. "What's with D? And Hiei, you're answering C, of course."

"Hn," Hiei muttered, but he smirked.

_Question 4_: If some random person had been murdered/kidnapped/robbed, what would you do to find the criminal?

A. Use your extraordinary brain to find the criminal

B. Remember seeing the criminal and turn him in

C. Nothing

D. Track them down but then go barging in and get yourself hurt

"A! The answer is A!" Kuwabara shouted.

Yusuke laughed scathingly. "Kuwabara, you could never do that. Try B or D."

Kurama smiled, silently marking A, then glancing to the side, noting Hiei once again marking C. He was beginning to see a pattern here….

_Question 5_: If some magical artwork was hurting people but they didn't know it, what would you do?

A. Steal it and use it for world domination

B. Transform into your alter ego so as not to be caught, then steal it

C. Wait for someone else to realize the truth

D. Buy the artwork

Kuwabara frowned. "It's gotta be D… but what if you don't have enough money…"

Yusuke grinned. "Tch! Then you steal it of course! I guess I'll have to do B, even though I don't have an alternate ego. You do, though, Kurama!"

Kurama nodded and marked B. Hiei smirked as he marked A. It would be fun to see Koenma's reaction to the quiz results….

_Question 6_: If you had been sucked into an alternate dimension where you were needed to pilot a giant robot to defeat an enemy and keep the world free, what would you do?

A. Ignore the robots and find a way home

B. Learn everything you could about the world before making a decision

C. Fight in the robot

D. Fight on the side attempting to conquer the world

Kuwabara looked puzzled. "I think it has to be C…"

Yusuke snickered, marking A. He couldn't be bothered with just any random job….

Kurama marked B, glancing toward Hiei as he wondered if he would mark A or D. Hiei smirked, covering his answer to irritate Kurama.

_Question 7_: If you were sucked in to the world of a book set in ancient China, where you were supposed to summon Suzaku, what would you do?

A. Summon Suzaku

B. Look for a way home

C. Exploit the people for money

D. Wait for help

Kuwabara smirked. "Ha! The question tells the answer! A!"

Yusuke shook his head. "That's just what he wants you to think. It's B!"

Kurama smiled ruefully. "I don't think either is a very good idea…" but he marked B anyway.

Hiei frowned. He had no use for money, and depending on others was useless…so, B it was.

_Question 8_: If you were stuck in a game and a strange voice in the sky told you it was your job to wake up this floating girl, what would you do?

A. Play the game and ignore the voice

B. Shake her until you could get out of the game

C. Research this, using connections with other players to get out of the game

D. Go around fighting all the other players.

Kuwabara frowned. "Maybe it's B?"

"It's A!" Yusuke shouted. "You're always wrong, Kuwabara!"  
Kurama sighed, marking C. It seemed this was taking longer than Koenma had said it would….

Hiei marked D with little hesitation and continued the test.

_Question 9_: If a strange creature had pulled you through a well which seemed to have pulled you back through time, and you discovered there was this jewel in your body that all the creatures wanted and you accidentally shattered it and scattered it all over the country, what would you do?

A. Gather the shards

B. Go back through the well

C. Fight all the creatures

D. Find someone and hire him to find the jewel shards for you

Kuwabara scratched his head. "Maybe you should do A…but what will happen if you don't get the shards?"

Yusuke shook his head. "I'm doing D."

Kurama marked B. He couldn't leave his mother for so long. Hiei hesitated, torn between marking B and C. But if the creatures were weak, it would be B…B it was.

_Question 10_: If you saw a strange, cute creature on your way home and fed it part of your waffle and then it followed you and told you it was able to control snow, what would you do?

A. Use it in a world domination plot

B. Ignore it

C. Applaud it and ask it to go somewhere else

D. Help it do what it wanted

"Uh…D?" Kuwabara suggested uncertainly.

"I'm picking B. It's probably a figment of imagination anyway," Yusuke decided.

"C. If it doesn't, you can ignore it then," Kurama stated decisively.

Hiei marked A. B was a good choice as well, but the creature could possibly be useful for information gathering.

_Question 11_: If you knew that a girl had been turned into a dragon, who was called Bloody August for all the destruction she caused, and wanted the sword to make her human again, but it actually wouldn't make her human again, and you had the sword, what would you do?

A. Sell the sword

B. Fight and defeat the dragon/girl with the sword

C. Give the dragon the sword anyway

D. Run away with the sword and hide

"I'm picking C. I don't need some sword that turned a girl into a dragon," Kuwabara stated decisively.

"I'll pick B. There's obviously no way to help her, so might as well stop her rampage," Yusuke replied.

Kurama nodded; their reasoning had some logic to it. He would choose A; he didn't want to go around fighting random dragons. And there was always the possibility that he would lose.

Hiei glared. He wouldn't run away, and surrendering the sword was out of the question. Selling it would rid him of the problem, but fighting a dragon might be entertaining…Why was he even putting so much thought into the stupid questions anyway? Might as well just mark the first letter he saw…

_Question 12_: If you were sent from Heaven to ensure history went the way they wanted, and then discovered something was wrong with doing that mission, what would you do?

A. Do it anyway

B. Defeat the order that sent you

C. Become an ordinary person and ignore everything

D. Join the side you were sent to defeat

Kuwabara frowned. "If you said you were gonna do it, you need to stick to your word…A."

Yusuke frowned as well. "What type of question is this? I'll just say C for the fun of it."

Kurama sighed. He hoped the test would be over soon. He closed his eyes and marked an answer; opening them, he saw he had marked D. That was ironic.

Hiei, noting Kurama's answer, marked B.

_Question 13_: If there were four dimension travelers, one who was traveling through dimensions unwillingly because his princess cursed him, one who was traveling through dimensions because he was running away from his own, one who was traveling through dimensions because he wanted to return the scattered memories of his princess, and one who was traveling through dimensions because her memories were scattered, which would you be?

A. Unwilling because his princess cursed him traveler

B. Running away from his dimension traveler

C. Saving memories of his princess traveler

D. Princess with scattered memories traveler

Kuwabara frowned. "This question is really redundant. I'll choose C."

Kurama shook his head lightly. "I think it's an attempt at parallelism, though it isn't very good. I'm going to mark A."

Yusuke nodded. "I'll go with you, Kurama."

"Hn. No way would I be running away, some princess or some stupid knight in shining armor…" Hiei muttered as he marked A.

_Question 14_: If you awoke in a strange world where people had animal tails and ears, and you had neither but did have a strange mask stuck on your face, and the animal-people were being oppressed by less animal-like people, what would you do?

A. Try to take the mask off

B. Make friends with the animal-people

C. Fight the animal-people

D. Fight the less animal-like people

Kuwabara frowned. "B? Or D?"

Yusuke shrugged. "It doesn't matter, choose whichever fits your fancy. I'm picking A."

Kurama smiled; A had nothing to do with the plot of the question, so it fit Yusuke perfectly. He marked D, glancing at Hiei's puzzled face. "What's wrong, Hiei?"

"Which are stronger; the animal-people or the less animal-like-people?"

Kurama's brow rose quizzically. "The less animal-like-people, I presume; at least, they aren't being oppressed."

Hiei nodded in realization, marking D. He couldn't waste his time on weaklings.

_Question 15_: If you were hit by a car, then met a girl on an oar who claimed to be the grim reaper, were brought back to life and were told you were supposed to be the Reikai Tantei of earth, what would you do?

A. Refuse

B. Become the Reikai tantei and fight on missions

C. Become the Reikiai tantei and negotiate with enemies

D. Fight against the Reikai tantei

"Hey! This is actually us!" Yusuke exclaimed.

"More like you, Urameshii," Kuwabara replied.

Kurama nodded. "I suppose we'll all choose B? I don't particularly like negotiations."

Hiei agreed, marking the answer. "Toddler, we're leaving. We've finished your insufferable quiz!"

Koenma entered, smiling. "Thank you so much! I won't ever bother you again!"

They scoffed, mentally saying, "Yeah right!"

* * *

Koenma was still staring at the answers he had gotten a half hour later. He had thought he would be able to see some conclusive evidence on what made a good Reikai Tantei. What he found instead was that each answer was correct to one of the Tantei. So…did that mean he should just choose one of each type of person? He sighed. But he had planned on hiring only one person this time….

Koenma tossed the quiz and results over his shoulder. Time to make a new quiz.

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A/N: Thank you for reading this! I hope you enjoyed it, and if you did, that you will leave a review, or read one of my other stories...or even better, both!

Answer Key:

Question 1: Many animes, including a random one I can't remember with three little girls fighting 'cute aliens.'

Question 2: Air

Question 3: Cardcaptor Sakura (_NOT_ Cardcaptors, which is the English version)

Question 4: Detective Conan i.e Case Closed

Question 5: D.N.Angel

Question 6: Dual Parallel Trouble Adventure

Question 7: Fushigi Yuugi

Question 8: .Hack/Sign

Question 9: Inuyasha

Question 10: Little Snow Fairy Sugar

Question 11: Orphen: Sorcerous Stabber

Question 12: Soul Hunter

Question 13: Tsubasa: Reservoir Chronicles

Question 14: Utawarerumono

Question 15: Yu Yu Hakusho


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